I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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