Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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