i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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