when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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