I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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