how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
