New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
