I bet he comes in French.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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