i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
