Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
