Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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