can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
