is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
