Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
