community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
