You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Randomize
