I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
