do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
