Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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