Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
don't judge my taste in strippers
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
