Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
