That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
