absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize