you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
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