I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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