Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
My ATM looks so different sober.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
