I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
