I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
