oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
