Do you still have your period?
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
