remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
