It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
