Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
