we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
