that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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