Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
