i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
