pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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