Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
