Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
