if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
