i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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