It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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