chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
