It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
