Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Randomize
