never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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