I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Randomize
