You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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