I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
