His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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