that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I just had sex on a roof
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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