We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
So much rum. So many feels.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
