I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
