Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
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My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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