I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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