Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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