i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize