my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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