Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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