You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
