dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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