just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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