Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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