put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
