They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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